As I woke up to the chirping of the birds, and a child…who at some point in the night always sneaks into my room, with the stealth of a cat, to swipe my old cell-phone aka my backup alarm clock…I realized that some of the smarting feelings that have been building up didn’t dissipate on the wings of night…and brushing them under the carpet and discounting them as merely the grumpies did nothing to dispel them either.
It was the smiling face looking down at me, my blue cell phone in his hand, letting me know that it was 6:01 and he was ready for his morning bath that pulled me from the depths of sleep. It was the, I love you mommy, all the way up to the moon and back, that shined a light brighter than the morning sun into the dark pit I found myself in. The dark pit of feeling invisible to those around me. Invisible unless they needed or wanted something. Hurting not because my insight and ideas are dismissed as not feasible, because maybe they weren’t, but when someone new comes along and voices those same insight and ideas, then they are touted as a brilliant sounding board. I have to admit, that soundly smarts. As does the request for assistance that is freely given to everyone else, yet doled out, begrudgingly, in left over crumbs my way.
I am not the backup person. I am more than the person people want to talk to only when their preferred conversationalist is not available. I am not invisible. I am more.
So today, I am grateful for my ray of sunshine who brightens my day with just his sweet smile, and for my friends who see and sense when I need a pick me up without a word being said.
Love & Light